Yes, it trickles down your leg or you do a superwomen pose.

I usually see a little bit of blood on the toilet paper after peeing/wiping and then know it’s about to be showtime.

Don’t ask a do-nothing bitch. Winners know what they want to eat/plan their whole day around it.

The shopping part.

Safety in numbers and to chat about things we couldn’t talk about in front of you.

What the fuck is wrong with you?

No, that’s bad for it. You end up washing away friendly bacteria that you need there in order to stop infections such as thrush.

Yes, but you have to be a very rare level of semi-erect.

Depends on how big they are and if you’re wearing a bra. Personally, yes, if I’m not wearing a bra. That’s why a lot of girls hold their chest if they jump up and down. Their bra isn’t supportive enough to absorb the shock. That’s also why sports bras were invented.

Keeping your unibrow under control and weed whacking your pubic region is such appreciated. Over plucking eyebrows or using more hair gel than me is unacceptable.

Yeah, but it’s not that bad and worse when it reaches your chest.

That may be a bit of a generalization, but from a women’s standpoint, it probably has something to do with feeling less desired or less pursued than before. I can’t speak from any experience, but I can say it changes after a baby because I AM FUCKING TIRED!

Sometimes I like to wear them because I haven’t shown them off in a while. Sometimes if it is a date, I do it as a test to see how many times you stare at them or if you even pay attention at all. And sometimes you just wanna be like hey, check out my tits, mostly for nights out. I usually don’t show mine off very often, but when I do, it’s for a reason.

#1 Feed me and tell me I’m pretty. #2 To be treated as an individual person and not as a group where one answer to a vague question can apply to everyone. Oh and money.

You want to see how hard he’ll try for you.

Give me a strong cocktail, light a scented candle, and surprise me with a “movie” night. My ability to deny the truth goes out the window with a cocktail + scented candle combo.

For most of the time, it’s a bit like having a sensitive ball of flesh attached to your front. Think of having a small boob in your crotch area. You can feel it’s there most of the time, but it’s not something you think about. When it’s flabbing about freely it feels more… complex. What is usually restrained in your pants is now like a boob octopus that will flail around if you move too fast. I’m pretty sure the first piece of clothing we invented was the loincloth to help us run and move without fearing that the dick would slam into our balls. That said, it’s hardly ever in the way. Just like the vagina is lower than most guys expect, the dick is upper than most girls expect.Now, when the dick decides it’s going to fuck something, never mind the social or physical situation you are in, it gets a mind of its own. You can trick it, but you can’t control it. In fact, it controls you. Let’s continue with the boob analogy. Tighten your thighs and feel them. Do you feel the muscles, how hard they are? Imagine if the fleshy glob of fat that is your immaculate boobs suddenly turns into that. And your nipples become oh so sensitive and large. And then imagine those boobs in the shape of a dick in your crotch. In your pants. At your grandma’s house. Where you are hosting a wake for you grandma. And you are delivering a speech in front of your family. You feel embarrassed, not horny. But your stupid dick saw all those crying women in front of you and decided that, yeah, this is a worthwhile fetish. So now you are hoping to god that the creases in your pants are hiding your dick. Let’s take this analogy further, we’re all pretty uncomfortable by now. Let’s imagine this muscle boob with sensitive nipples in the shape of a dick and yourself have managed to coax a female of your species into copulating. God knows how you did that, your genitals sound more monstrous by the minute. But here you are, you’re both naked, she’s conveniently naked and ready, and you are sporting what you hope is at least an average dick. You’re not gonna win any awards but whatever. Your penis is now in charge. And it wants one thing. To be inside that other person. And it will not stop until it is there. Nirvana awaits, why the hell aren’t you inside that person!? Okay so now you are inside that person and it feels amazing, tight, wet, so warm and just all around great. Except for your penis still isn’t happy. It demands stimulation. Female and male orgasm are very different, obviously. Sure we have the same nerve endings and whatnot but most women can attest to that they don’t orgasm every time, and sometimes it’s fine not to orgasm(insert jokes about small dicks, inferior men and insults to selfish men here). To the dick, not orgasming is not acceptable. It’s like the terminator, it must complete its mission. There is no enjoying the “journey” for the dick. The dick is on a one-way track to orgasmville, population 100 million kids. The dick doesn’t care if anyone else joins him on the way to the orgasmville, if they do, that’s a bonus. Your selfish boobmuscle is getting most of the simulation from its nipple. That’s basically the only spot and the key is making that spot happy. When you find the right rhythm you start to feel a strange burning situation in the taint. This is called the vinegar burns and indicate that you are going to come. You will ejaculate now, there’s nothing anyone can do to stop that. Once you’ve reached this point it’s kind of like being able to choose a roller coaster. You can pump away and reach some kind of nirvana esque experience as you feel yourself drain away into the other person through your boobmusclenipple. You can also ejaculate without orgasming, which is just a waste of time and effort. But the vinegar burns tell you that the journey is almost over and your penis and yourself are very happy. At that point your dick sort of dies. It’ll stay hard for a while but it’s powerless to control you. And it’s that moment, right after sex, as you’re getting your breath back, you begin to understand how this retarded muscle hanging in front of you controls every aspect of your life. How everything you do is an extension of his need to be inside other people. It feels comical. It feels insane. You start to wonder if you wanted to go to college or if your dick just wanted to try out other people’s bodies, you begin to question your life choices, you start to wonder how every single man is driven by their dicks and how the entire male world is just a relentless race to find people to share their strange muscles with. And then your dick starts waking up again and begins preparing for your next excursion. And that’s what’s having a dick is like.